Have you ever noticed that your Facebook Newsfeed is typically filled with all the good and wonderful news in your friends lives .. but what’s missing is the really sad news and details on a terrible day?   I think we’ve started to program ourselves in to thinking we should only share our triumphs in order to give the world a false impression of how wonderful life is.  I’m here to tell you Facebook People – IT IS OK TO BE SAD!  IT IS OK TO HAVE A BAD DAY!  IT IS OK TO SHARE AND TO VENT …   isn’t that what TRUE friendship is all about?

Don’t get me wrong .. I’m all for sharing inspirational messages and am guilty of forwarding on what I’ve now termed as “Facebook Wisdom”.  I enjoy seeing those inspirational messages as I am striving to improve myself this year.  I even find a lot of solace in the Facebook Wisdom’s and enjoy forwarding on those messages that really hit home for me.   I will be there for you when you celebrate a birthday, an anniversary, your kids first steps, and love to browse your vacation photos {since I can’t take one of my own!}.    But I think we all know that life isn’t full of sunshine and roses!

Let’s keep it real, Facebook People!

The other night I was feeling uber lonely.  It so happens I am a hermit who lives alone.  I get lonely.  So I posted something about it on my Facebook page.  The next day I woke up to messages of concern for my well-being.  I’m starting to feel like I can’t express my emotions honestly on Facebook any more, because when I do other people can’t handle it.   Instead of being able to express myself and move on, I feel I have to nurture others and make THEM feel better … about MY emotion.

Let me ask you this.  Would you ask an artist to stop expressing his anger while painting?  A poet to stop writing about heartache?  A country song writer to stop writing sad love songs?   Then WHY do we think that a writer should only BE HAPPY?!   There is a full spectrum of emotion out there, and I honestly think those who have a creative outlet to express that spectrum are truly the most mentally sound.  Those who can freely express themselves end up being the happiest in the long run.

10153799_473996392743651_4876577012350947874_nJulian Lennon just posted this image to his own Facebook page – one of the sources of Facebook Wisdom that I often forward.  My comments on the image are below .. it was just timed too perfectly not to say something:

I dunno Jules. I think it’s important to experience the emotions of life .. whether positive, negative – happy or sad. If there’s a problem .. it’s ok to dwell a little while till a solution is found.   We wouldn’t have great works of art, or music, or poetry, if we all went around with a positive attitude all of the time. I think on Facebook we’re losing a part of our humanity because we only encourage one another to stay happy.    I’ve been writing a blog about this just now .. your post is well timed. I’ve been thinking about the “rose colored glasses” of facebook and wondering if all the happy thoughts are creating a false outlook on what life really is like.

One brave person has replied to my comment so far – disagreeing by stating a positive attitude is a necessity.  I’ll let her keep her happy thoughts .. for now.

 How was your weekend?

Have you ever gone in to work on a Monday morning and been asked 100 times how your weekend was?  Have you ever stopped to wonder what people would do or say if you gave them an honest answer?  Oh sure – we all do the polite thing and respond that our weekend was “Good”  “Great”  “Very Productive”.   But if I told you I had a really bad night on Saturday .. would you stop and listen?     I don’t think we as a society are prepared to handle an honest response to that question .. such a simple one .. “How are you?”   If I ask you how you’re doing … I honestly want to know.  I’m not asking to be polite.  I’m asking because I’m interested in how you’re doing .. happy or sad .. good or bad.  I want to hear about your life celebrations.  But I also want to hear about the things that make you sad.   I want to know what you’re worried about.   I want to listen to what you have to share.

Social Media HAS taken away part of our humanity.  We’re not able to read the expressions on the faces of those we ask “How are you doing.”  We only have their words to go by .. and without that human connection it is so easy to just LIE.  To say .. “Everything’s going great” – when we really just want to crawl back to our caves and hide for a week.  I just don’t think it’s humanly possible to have a positive attitude all of the time – so why pretend that everything is always OK?  And why not share the pain along with the triumph in life?  Why do we react the way that we do when someone feels bad?  Can we not embrace the full spectrum of emotion and just let people BE.

Just let yourself BE.





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