writers-block21[1]The other day someone asked “If you enjoy writing so much, why don’t you just do that.  Why not sit down and write a book.”   I wish it were that easy.  Number 1 … there’s no money to be made in the creation of a story.   Only in the selling of it.  And most of my writing is done for my own entertainment.  I don’t write here at my blog with the hope one day someone will want to make a book or movie out of it.  I write here at my blog because I enjoy it .. it helps me translate what is knocking around in my head on to a more concrete form that I can go back and reexamine at a later date .. to think about it some more.

Also.. my writing takes time.  I’ve got the beginnings of an idea for the next character in my Clara story.  Her best friend.  I can see her in my mind and I’m just starting to envision her personality.  The things she likes to do.  What she looks like, what sort of style she has.  I’m thinking about how she’ll fit in to Clara’s adventures and what personality traits might work best to counter-balance the personality I have in mind for Clara.  It’s not something that I can just sit down and knock out in an hours time.  There is a LOT of thinking involved in writing.  I’d rather take a few weeks to form the ideas in my head than just sit down and write.   This is why it sometimes takes years for a writer to complete a novel.  It’s why I will never have the patience to write a novel.  I like writing here .. in blog format. .. where if an idea has fully formed, I can sit down and write it all out and bring the idea to life.  I often have to give myself permission to take the time to sit and think about my stories … and I end up feeling somewhat guilty for avoiding real life needs to indulge my Fairy Tale.  So it’s a bit of a struggle too.

And I still don’t really see myself as a writer per se.  But as someone who dabbles in creating stories and characters.  I’m someone who keeps a journal online that others can read.   I’ve always been rather open about my life , have no real secrets to hide from anyone.  And I’ll probably always be that way.  I’m rather curious as to who reads my blog .. but I sort of like the anonymity of not knowing who you are.  It will keep me on my toes to find new ways to draw you in and get you to come back and read more.  And I don’t want to be disappointed to find out the people I want to read it .. don’t.   See .. full of contradictions.  I am a hermit who has a desire for attention from certain people .. but want to shy away from others.   It’s like screaming “Look at me!  Look at me .. oh .. but not you.”  haha!  Some people might see that as being really messed up.  I see that as just being ME.

So why don’t I just write full time.  Perhaps in a perfect world I could afford to do that.  Perhaps one day an opportunity will come where I can sit down daily and just write to my hearts content and I can get this story out of my head and on to paper.  Until then I am happy with my blog.

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